Bowling for Conway

 

Those two guys just burst in

Rocking heavy tans

I think you know what I mean

Guns in hand

We all watched in dismay

As they blazed away

With the guns run from Alquaida

(Which is of course

The failed nation state

That straddles the gap

Betwixt Iran and Iraq)

~

The entire hall froze

A sea of shocked faces

Our brave young men

And smattering of women

Who’d just been chilling

With the great Yankee

Game of lawn bowls

Lay themselves down

On their desecrated lawn

~

Their patriotic blood overflowed

The gunnels where the big balls rolled

Strike One against our way of life –

Bullets ripped holes

In sole deodorisers

They leapt in the air

Rattled down among the slain

Burst like gas grenades

~

The world looked on

As our brave boys and girls

Went down like so many skittles

Dying glorious deaths

In ways the mainstream press

Now just won’t report

(I know I’m right, I checked)

 

* If you wish to contribute to the relief effort for this mendacious act of terror, please donate handsomely to http://www.bowlinggreenmassacrefund.com